Sharing Your Desires

I consider myself to be (pretty much) an average guy (whatever that is). I don't normally compare myself, or my participation in the chastity, Femdom, lifestyles, to anyone else's. Besides, who knows who (on the Internet) is telling the truth about their relationship and who is exaggerating about it or making it all up (expressing their fantasies?). Besides, we all practice in our own ways. That is to say, I might get ideas, even fantasies, from reading other stories and blogs on-line, but I have no way of knowing when someone is telling me the real truth about what they do and don't do.

Fantasy is one thing, reality quite another. I know that I (and Mistress Ivey) have said that before, but I want to make a point. You may have fantasies about long term denial coupled with (almost excessive) amounts of daily teasing. But here is the problem... Does your partner share that fantasy? Regardless of what your fantasy is, or how “real” you think you want it to be, if your partner does not share your fantasy, yet she tries to give you what you want, who is really in charge?

By definition, a Female Led Relationship is totally controlled by the Female! Your fantasy, whatever it is, consists of a woman telling you what to do, when to do it, and when you can or cannot ejaculate. Exactly how much of that you want to be real, if your partner (Mistress, girlfriend, or whatever) does not share your fantasy one of two things is going to happen. Either she is going to “play the game” the way you tell her you want it, or she will do it her way and possibly ruin the fantasy for you.

Now I know that every successful relationship consists of give and take, of compromise, and of excellent communication. Anything less is bound to be less than successful. Maybe not a complete failure, but at least one partner (maybe both) will not be as happy as they want to be.

Let me give you an example. Suppose, in your fantasies, you dream of being denied an orgasm for a year or more. Not exactly an unusual fantasy. But there is more to it than that, isn't there? You want to be teased for long periods at frequent intervals as well. What if your partner is not really interested in doing all that teasing? What if she she doesn't want to go more than a month without feeling you inside her. Not just inside, but ejaculating inside? What does that do to your fantasy?

Without a truly good communication and rapport, between the two of you, one or both of you will be less than satisfied. I have stressed this before, but I still get “what can I do” questions every day. What you can do is open up! Tell your partner what you want and what the actual fantasy is. Then work out something that will make you both happy. If long term denial is good for her, and she is willing to do a certain amount of teasing each week, then you can work out an acceptable compromise.

Far be it from me to tell a Female what to do. So all I can do is suggest that women read Mistress Ivey's blog. I am sure that, with a little research, she can find whatever subject she wants covered by Mistress Ivey. After all, she has been writing her blog for over a year.

For you gentlemen (or feminized men) out there, no matter how humiliating it is, you MUST tell your partner your deepest, darkest fantasies. Just be sure she knows which you would actually want to try and which you want to remain fantasy. If you are not sure, be sure to inform her. The more about you and your fantasies that she knows, the better she can go about fulfilling both your fantasies (hers and yours). Yes, it all boils down to communication. Open, honest communication.

nemo