“Dominizing” Your Partner

I have been asked many times for help convincing a wife (or partner) to become dominant. Well, that's a tall order. It's not always possible, but there are some things you can do if your partner is not really open to the idea. The first thing you want to do (for anything that involves you both), is talk! Communication is the single most important part of any successful relationship. Especially when two people live together. The main problem I see is that many people are too shy about what they want to effectively discuss it with their loved one. Rejection is a very powerful weapon that all too often goes off by mistake. “I didn't even know it was loaded” is a acceptable excuse (in this case). Your best protection is a hard shell. But there are ways to avoid it. Here is a good post about what NOT to do.

For example, do you behave as if your partner is in charge? If not, why not? After all, isn't that what you want? Then why not ease her into it? If your behavior changes, becomes more submissive, it could make a difference. I am not talking about greeting your spouse at the door on your knees or kissing her feet when she gets home from the grocery store (though that might work, too). What I am talking about is simply doing things she asks without complaining. Anticipating her needs, her desires, and trying to fulfill them BRFORE she asks! Think about it.

Become the husband (or whatever) that you want to be. The one you want her to make you be. Even in bed. Try to put your own desires aside. Tend to her wants and desires, her pleasure, without regard for your own. Be the unselfish lover you want her to dominate. Who knows, it might just open her eyes to what you are asking of her.

If she notices the difference, and she should, talk to her. Tell her that you are just trying to be a better husband. Tell her that you are willing to do whatever she asks of you. If you're lucking, she may just test you on it. Whatever you do, don't pressure her! And if she does test you, don't fail her! The best weapon you have in your arsenal is you own obedience. Give her an example of how being in charge can make her life better.

Even if don't have a talk about her taking charge, perhaps you can ease her into it without her even knowing. However, once she gets used to it, then you shouldn't feel so vulnerable. That's when you want to talk with her about it. Start by asking her if she has noticed any difference in you. She may even be the one to bring it up. That's your cue to ask her to be more dominant. Often times, it's the stereotypical “Mistress” that scares her. That's what she thinks is too kinky. So don't push her that way, just let her naturally gravitate toward it. Chances are, if you can keep it from sounding kinky, she will be much more open to it. Remember, it's all about pleasing her!

I think that's enough for now. If you spend a few weeks doing as I have suggested here, you may be surprised at the result. Good luck!

nemo