It's nice to go to some of the online forums and read what others say about how successful their Female Led Relationships are. But there is one other thing that always stands out when I do this... The questions asked by the “newbies.” The most common question I see is, “How can I get her to take control and do more sexual stuff?”
The answer is so simple you may never think of it yourself. First of all, you have probably spent several months, if not years, researching FLRs and how they are “supposed” to work. You have built this fantasy in your head of the perfect FLR. One in which your wife teases you almost constantly, she punishes you at every turn, she even wears a great deal of sexy clothing that she never wore before. And there, my friends, is the problem.
Chances are, your wife, even though she may agree to take more control, has NOT done all the research you have. She has NOT built up a fantasy world in her mind of how things should be. She probably doesn't even know how to proceed. But YOU keep telling her how she should do things.
Bad! Bad, bad, sub! You must realize that she needs to learn everything you already know. But if YOU try to tell her how do everything, she feels like you are still the one in control. And the fact is, you are! But that's NOT how it should be. We all know that. So why not back off, suggest some reading or research material that can actually be of help to her. Mistress Ivey's web sites, her books, even her couple's training if it is open, are all good places to send her. I am not just saying that because she is my wife and, of course, I benefit from it, but because most of the information you find on the Internet is extreme, to say the least. The Internet might actually scare her out of wanting to do it at all.
My point is, you have to allow her to progress at her own pace. Let her do what she is comfortable doing and be patient for the rest. If you keep topping from the bottom, chances are she will NEVER fully accept her role as your Mistress. There is a lot to learn. It will take her time to learn it. Even then, she isn't going to do anything that she is not comfortable with. So give her a chance. Don't push her. Let her go at her own pace and you will be surprised how fast she can progress.
Give her help in the form of knowledge about you and what you like, enjoy, are afraid of. Tell her what would be humiliating for you, what you would do ONLY if she ordered you to do it. But do NOT expect her to jump right in with both feet.
Point her in the right direction and then stand back and wait for her to catch up to you.