My Day Of Anal Play

I had to drive the child to the bus stop in the morning, so I wasn't expecting what happened when I returned. It was still a little dark outside, the sun had not yet risen over the treetops. I found the back door, the one I normally used and had gone out of that morning, to be locked. Since I don't carry a key, I only hoped the front door was unlocked.

As I walked around the house I wondered how the door had gotten locked since I didn't think Mistress was up yet. But as I reached the front door, I realized I was wrong. Mistress stood at the door peering out the window. She smiled at me and said, “If you want in, you will have to strip naked.” That was, needless to say, a shock. I looked around to see if anyone might be watching. Seeing no one, and realizing the sun was getting higher, I quickly stripped completely, and asked her to open the door. Mistress just smiled back at me through the window and said, “Now make yourself hard.”

Captioned Photos: Couples Therapy

Sometimes it seems the logical way for a couple to improve their relationship is through couples therapy. But what would couples therapy for a Female Lead Relationship (especially one into BDSM) look like? Let's face it, this may be the fast route to getting your wife up and running as a Mistress. You wanted cruel? Well here's one way to get it...

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Captioned Photos: Strap-ons

Speaking of strap-ons, (if you have been following my comments you know we were), I told you it was important to communicate your desires clearly! If you don't communicate well, this is what could happen...

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Sharing Your Desires

I consider myself to be (pretty much) an average guy (whatever that is). I don't normally compare myself, or my participation in the chastity, Femdom, lifestyles, to anyone else's. Besides, who knows who (on the Internet) is telling the truth about their relationship and who is exaggerating about it or making it all up (expressing their fantasies?). Besides, we all practice in our own ways. That is to say, I might get ideas, even fantasies, from reading other stories and blogs on-line, but I have no way of knowing when someone is telling me the real truth about what they do and don't do.

Fantasy is one thing, reality quite another. I know that I (and Mistress Ivey) have said that before, but I want to make a point. You may have fantasies about long term denial coupled with (almost excessive) amounts of daily teasing. But here is the problem... Does your partner share that fantasy? Regardless of what your fantasy is, or how “real” you think you want it to be, if your partner does not share your fantasy, yet she tries to give you what you want, who is really in charge?

By definition, a Female Led Relationship is totally controlled by the Female! Your fantasy, whatever it is, consists of a woman telling you what to do, when to do it, and when you can or cannot ejaculate. Exactly how much of that you want to be real, if your partner (Mistress, girlfriend, or whatever) does not share your fantasy one of two things is going to happen. Either she is going to “play the game” the way you tell her you want it, or she will do it her way and possibly ruin the fantasy for you.

Now I know that every successful relationship consists of give and take, of compromise, and of excellent communication. Anything less is bound to be less than successful. Maybe not a complete failure, but at least one partner (maybe both) will not be as happy as they want to be.

Let me give you an example. Suppose, in your fantasies, you dream of being denied an orgasm for a year or more. Not exactly an unusual fantasy. But there is more to it than that, isn't there? You want to be teased for long periods at frequent intervals as well. What if your partner is not really interested in doing all that teasing? What if she she doesn't want to go more than a month without feeling you inside her. Not just inside, but ejaculating inside? What does that do to your fantasy?

Without a truly good communication and rapport, between the two of you, one or both of you will be less than satisfied. I have stressed this before, but I still get “what can I do” questions every day. What you can do is open up! Tell your partner what you want and what the actual fantasy is. Then work out something that will make you both happy. If long term denial is good for her, and she is willing to do a certain amount of teasing each week, then you can work out an acceptable compromise.

Far be it from me to tell a Female what to do. So all I can do is suggest that women read Mistress Ivey's blog. I am sure that, with a little research, she can find whatever subject she wants covered by Mistress Ivey. After all, she has been writing her blog for over a year.

For you gentlemen (or feminized men) out there, no matter how humiliating it is, you MUST tell your partner your deepest, darkest fantasies. Just be sure she knows which you would actually want to try and which you want to remain fantasy. If you are not sure, be sure to inform her. The more about you and your fantasies that she knows, the better she can go about fulfilling both your fantasies (hers and yours). Yes, it all boils down to communication. Open, honest communication.

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More Surprises!

Not all the surprises we get are erotic. Some may even be down right terrifying! For example...

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Captioned Photo: Surprise!

Sometimes we are surprised by those who have placed us in chastity. Hopefully, these surprises are something wonderful, sometimes not. But some surprises seem to over shadow all others...

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Captioned Photo: Time limits (5)

Not all limits are time limits. Sometimes a Mistress will use other types of limits. But whatever the limit is, I hate when they get so stringent that I just can't make it no matter how hard I try. Of course, I realize that it's only Mistress' way of teasing me. She probably doesn't want me to succeed, but now she can say she gave me a chance...

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Dominizing Your Partner (3)

Well, this is the third installment on how to get your partner to be more dominant. I know there is no such word as “Dominize” or “Dominizing” but I think I am going to register it. I could use a nickel every time someone uses it! After all, what else would you call it?

Okay, enough of that. Let's get back to work, here. As I recall, I told you I was going to give you something to do that would be more difficult that anything you have done so far. Well here it is. You should pretend that you are in chastity, saving all your energy for your partner. That means NO masturbating! I know that can be difficult, but if you want to show her just what being in charge could mean to her, you need to go all the way.

Now the good part. The next time she wants sex, give her everything she wants. Act like you are done when she is worn out. If she asks if there is anything she can do for you, try this: Ask her to put some lubrication on your cock and then stroke it VERY lightly, and VERY slowly! If you get close to coming, you must STOP her. Edging is fun and you have to show her that it can be fun for her, too. Don't tell her what you are doing, just stop her before it's too late and ask her to let you rest for a minute before she continues.

Hold out as long as you can. Let her edge you four or five times before you let yourself ejaculate. You shouldn't ruin it, so be sure you stop in time when being edged. In the final approach to orgasm, ask her to speed up and maybe hold you a little more snugly. You should have a really great orgasm. Now, wasn't that worth it? I think she will realize what happened, but even if she doesn't, she will be curious. This is your big chance to talk to her about tease and denial.

Sit down and really talk about it. Let her know how much more enjoyable sex (orgasms) are when you have been denied one for awhile. Don't go any further than that. Let her lead you to it. She will, most likely, have questions about it. Answer them, but don't suggest she take charge. Chances are, she will take the reins without you pushing her into it. From time to time, you can suggest ways for her to tease you, sexually. If all goes well, it's time to show her some of the stories you have read online. Or maybe some of the websites that are aimed at the “normal” woman, such as Mistress Ivey's website.

Remember, don't push her. Let her lead you into the very thing you want. If she asks you anything, answer honestly. Let her know that you have fantasies, but don't push them on her. She may, eventually, ask you about those fantasies. That will be your opening! Don't be afraid to tell her some of them. Just don't tell her the really secret ones until she is ready for them. Trust me, you will know when that is.

Good luck, and don't forget to talk!

nemo

Dominizing Your Partner (2)

Yes, this is a continuation of my last post. This is such an important subject that it will take me at least one more post after this one. So many men want to know how to get their partner to become more dominant. The problem is, you can't approach them in a way that will bring to mind the stereotypical images that most of the Internet brings to mind. To be honest about it, those leather-clad, whip-wielding, high-heel wearing, order screaming women are extremely rare. They happen to appeal to many men's sexual fantasies, but most men don't really want to live that way all the time. It's a great fantasy, but really? I don't think so. So is there any question why most women are turned off by the very thought it?

Even if your dream is to turn your woman into a screaming, orgasm denying, witch who will never even tease you much less let you out of your chastity device, you can't do it over night. Hell, she will probably divorce you if you tell her that's what you want. No, women don't really want that, and, if you think about it, neither do you. Not really. Now do you?

Okay, so what you want is something less than the fantasy we all have. What you really want is more, more exciting, sexual experiences than you have now. Right? You want your wife (or partner) to be more dominant. That's pretty normal. So why would you want to scare the hell out of her by asking her to be your Mistress? After all, if you want to know what comes to her mind when you say, “Mistress,” just take a look what you get when you type it into Google! So don't tell her that! Tell her you want to be a better husband (or whatever you are). That will grab her attention.

You REALLY need to talk with her. Don't tell her more than she needs to know. Tell her what you can do for her. How you want to improve her life by doing more for her. Tell her the benefits of her being in charge. Start slowly! Ask her to take charge of the house (which she probably already is) so that she can tell you what she needs done. Then do what she says. Do anything that you think she needs done. Do the laundry, take out the trash, wash the dishes. Oh, and not only that, but in the bedroom too. Let her be in charge without pressuring her. You don't even have to tell her. Just do it. Let her take the lead. Concentrate on her pleasure. Let her do to you whatever she wants, make it clear that you would like to please her.

The bedroom is your best place to put her in charge without her even knowing. You know what she likes. So do it. Don't ask or even tell her what you want her to do. Simply give her all your attention. Do all the things she likes until she can't take any more. Then, when she starts to do what she thinks you need, (and this is the hard part) tell her you don't need anything. Just knowing that she is satisfied is all the pleasure you need. She may insist and that's okay. After all, it's up to her! Right? But make sure you always put her pleasure before your own. The more you do that, the more comfortable she will become getting what she wants. You've made progress!

Next time we will try something new. Something even more difficult (for you).

nemo

“Dominizing” Your Partner

I have been asked many times for help convincing a wife (or partner) to become dominant. Well, that's a tall order. It's not always possible, but there are some things you can do if your partner is not really open to the idea. The first thing you want to do (for anything that involves you both), is talk! Communication is the single most important part of any successful relationship. Especially when two people live together. The main problem I see is that many people are too shy about what they want to effectively discuss it with their loved one. Rejection is a very powerful weapon that all too often goes off by mistake. “I didn't even know it was loaded” is a acceptable excuse (in this case). Your best protection is a hard shell. But there are ways to avoid it. Here is a good post about what NOT to do.

For example, do you behave as if your partner is in charge? If not, why not? After all, isn't that what you want? Then why not ease her into it? If your behavior changes, becomes more submissive, it could make a difference. I am not talking about greeting your spouse at the door on your knees or kissing her feet when she gets home from the grocery store (though that might work, too). What I am talking about is simply doing things she asks without complaining. Anticipating her needs, her desires, and trying to fulfill them BRFORE she asks! Think about it.

Become the husband (or whatever) that you want to be. The one you want her to make you be. Even in bed. Try to put your own desires aside. Tend to her wants and desires, her pleasure, without regard for your own. Be the unselfish lover you want her to dominate. Who knows, it might just open her eyes to what you are asking of her.

If she notices the difference, and she should, talk to her. Tell her that you are just trying to be a better husband. Tell her that you are willing to do whatever she asks of you. If you're lucking, she may just test you on it. Whatever you do, don't pressure her! And if she does test you, don't fail her! The best weapon you have in your arsenal is you own obedience. Give her an example of how being in charge can make her life better.

Even if don't have a talk about her taking charge, perhaps you can ease her into it without her even knowing. However, once she gets used to it, then you shouldn't feel so vulnerable. That's when you want to talk with her about it. Start by asking her if she has noticed any difference in you. She may even be the one to bring it up. That's your cue to ask her to be more dominant. Often times, it's the stereotypical “Mistress” that scares her. That's what she thinks is too kinky. So don't push her that way, just let her naturally gravitate toward it. Chances are, if you can keep it from sounding kinky, she will be much more open to it. Remember, it's all about pleasing her!

I think that's enough for now. If you spend a few weeks doing as I have suggested here, you may be surprised at the result. Good luck!

nemo

Captioned Photo: Time limits (4)

You know, many times we have limits placed on our performance. But it's not always a time limit. Sometimes it's more of a performance limit. The problem comes in when the limits imposed by Mistress are not what's keeping us from complying...

The Marathon Is Over!

Yesterday, Mistress informed me that she was going to end the marathon. So far, all I had was a lot of teasing. But she reminded me that this was a “ruined orgasm” marathon I knew what that meant. She left the room and I got up and pulled my pants back up (I had to pull them down when I first got to the room), and went out to the living room to watch some Fox News.

It was about 11:am when she called to the bedroom again. She quickly repeated the procedure. That is, she made it seem like a chore she had to perform in order for her experiment to work. It worked alright. That is, again she made the white liquid dribble from the end of my poor expectant cock. It was a let-down, needless to say. But that's what she wanted.

As the day progressed, I was called into the bedroom for a repeat performance every hour and half to two hours. Each time she pumped me without so much as a word of encouragement, much less the usual fantasy I had become accustom to hearing. The fact is, she was able to get semen from me every time that day. There was a total of seven times before we went to bed for the night. Not only was I able to perform each and every time, the amount of semen she extracted was about the same the last time as the first.

In the end, we determined that I can handle as many ruined orgasms as she could give me, as long as I get some rest between them. I don't know what would happen if she only allowed me to rest for an hour between, or even half and hour. Perhaps, one day, we will find out. I am hoping that she will try to see how many full orgasms I can have in one day. That will be fun! But something tells me she is not interested in that information.

It was fun. And I would not mind repeating it. But I would like to have a real orgasm at the end of the day. After all, didn't I earn it? Only she can decide that...

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Captioned Photo: Time limits (3)

Sometimes, the time we have to accomplish a goal goes down... and down... and down... One would think that the task was impossible, but because of our needs, desires, and level of frustration, the impossible becomes possible... Hopefully...

Captioned Photo: Time limits (2)

Sometimes the limits get shorter...

Captioned Photo: Time limits (1)

Sometimes in life, we are all placed "under the gun" so to speak. Meaning that we have time limits in which to produce, perform, or whatever. We don't always succeed. Sometimes we're not meant to. Sometimes, there's just the too much pressure. And sometimes we just don't have the incentive. So how's this for incentive?

Untie Me!

Sometimes we get an idea in our heads. Later, we may realize that it wasn't such a good idea after all, especially when we consider the consequences.

The Marathon Still Continues...

Yes, I am being teased several times a day. Now she judges when to stop each her short little teases by how much pain I am in from the spikes in my cage. She seems to love causing me this kind of pain knowing full well it will take several minutes for "Charlie" to get soft enough to give me any relief.

 

That's life!

The Marathon Continues

Remember the ruined orgasm marathon Mistress Ivey started a few days ago? Well, she is still "warming me up" for it! The actual "Marathon" hasn't started, yet. Instead, she plans to make sure that I am as turned on and eager for it to take place as she is.

Mistress says that when I am "ready" (whatever that means) she will see how many times in one day that she can bring me to orgasm, only to ruin it when it happens. On one hand, I am looking forward to that, but on the other...?

So, yesterday was much like the day before... More teasing. Then when I think she is done, she starts up again. I made ten (10), yes I said "TEN" trips to the bedroom where I was ordered to drop my drawers so that she could play with her property. I'm sorry I didn't take notes so I could give you a blow by blow (don't I wish) account of everything that she did to me. But I can give you a good idea of what it was like.

One time she fondled my butt while describing what it felt like to her when she sits in my lap and fucks me, especially when she knows I can't feel it enough to work up even a small orgasm. I'm beginning to hate that Boy Butter she bought. Oh, yeah, she now uses an adjustable cock ring we bought a few years ago to accomplish the same thing. I am beginning to think I may NEVER cum again.

Anyway, back to the warm up. Another time she called me into the bedroom, had me drop my drawers, so that she could stand behind me (pressing her naked body against me) and play with my balls. All the while she is whispering in my ear about tying me to the railing on the back porch and teasing me there for an hour. The pain from those tiny spikes in my cage were killing me by the time she released me and sent me back to the living room. She knows my fantasies and humiliations too well.

By the end of the day, I was ready to tear my cage off, throw her on the bed and fuck her brains out. Besides knowing better than that, she had other plans. She lay next to me on the bed fondling my nipples and balls, and everything in between. And, of course, between my legs. Then she had me lick her to orgasm. Okay, THAT WAS fun, but I was hoping for more for me. I guess I really have never learned that only she can give me what I need and that asking for an orgasm is out of the question. I am learning that lesson now.

I have already been called to the bedroom four times today. I am told she won't be ruining any orgasms until, at least, Monday. So I guess I will have to get used to the spikes, as well as learn what it's like to want.

nemo