Life is full of expectations that often are not fulfilled by the reality of what we hoped, or dreamed. Chastity is no exception. Many times, what we fantasize about in relation to chastity, is not what really happens. For example, you may have wanted to be put in chastity because, in your dreams about it, your Mistress would tease you in many different ways, day in and day out. It may even have been that way when things first got started, but after awhile the excitement wears off and things settle into a 'norm' that is not what you were hoping it would be. Or, perhaps, you find yourself wishing you could just take the thing off and masturbate once in awhile because Mistress has not been teasing you regularly.
Expectations are something that we can't help. If you have never experienced something first hand, and have nothing to go by except what you have read or that others have told you, you may have higher expectations than the reality can live up to. The real problem is just how do you deal with it? Do you get angry? Do you pout? Do you discuss it with your partner (Mistress)? Or do you just accept it and let things play out however that might be?
Of course, the obvious answer is to discuss the situation with your partner and try to resolve the problem by coming to some sort of agreement. But what if that doesn't work? I mean, you started out with a plan, and it didn't work. Now you have made a new plan, but what assurances do you have that it will work any better?
Now don't get me wrong. Either partner might have had expectations that the other partner did not meet. Or they, themselves might be guilty of not meeting their own expectations. Chastity is something that not everyone will enjoy. It may sound great on paper, but when the reality hits, it may not be what you were hoping it would be. What do you do then? You have to figure out exactly what the problem is. I can tell you what it is NOT, but I can't tell you exactly what your particular problem is, or even how best to solve it.
The problem is NOT that chastity doesn't work, or isn't fun. It is more likely that the problem is the people involved. One, or possibly both, of you are either not living up to your end of the bargain (as it were), or you had unrealistic expectations to begin with. As I said, I can't tell you how to fix your problem, and I doubt you will find an answer anywhere on the Internet. But I can tell you this: If you want your relationship (whether chastity is a part of it or not) to work, then YOU have to work AT it! The problem won't fix itself.
If chastity is not working for you, not living up to your expectations, then I suggest you either lower your expectations, or talk to your partner to figure out a course of action. Don't just accept things the way they are. You have to identify the problem and actively find a resolution. Perhaps, one or both or you have simply lost interest. If that's the case, the solution might be as simple as adding some chastity games to your daily routine. Or even talking things out, letting your partner know how you are feeling, might do the trick.
But if chastity, as you currently practice it, is not meeting your expectations, then do something about it. Don't sit around moping or pouting. Change it!
nemo
Hah - I hated Disney the one time I went, for pretty much the reasons that you outlined.
ReplyDeleteI will say, though, that sometimes being in chastity isn't what I'd thought it would be, but when I manage to get through those times, I often look back on them and manage to find the erotic in the situation.
As far as chastity goes, no, I am not at all satisfied with the way things have gone. I am one of those who had to request that my wife become my KH (or Mistress). That was about eight months ago. We almost never had sex. I thought perhaps it was because I wasn't doing enough to keep the sexual relationship alive. When I asked her to become my Mistress and explained the basics of how it “should” work, she was all for it. She was even a little enthusiastic about the prospect of sexually controlling me. We bought a CB3k (w/points of intrigue) and I put it on. After a few days testing I settled on the right combination of parts that fit well and could be worn for several days without problems. My wife tried some teasing one night and was thrilled with the whole thing. She did a truly great job and I ended up with an explosive orgasm after an hour of teasing. She said she got a real thrill out of it. Since then, she has not told me to wear the CB3k, nor has she done any real teasing. She did ruin a couple of orgasms, but normally, every week or so, she will tease me for about ten minutes then let me have a nice orgasm. It's like she missed the point altogether. She says she just isn't interested in sex anymore (giving or receiving). I spent hours every day for a month waiting on her hand and foot. I did (and still do) the dishes every night. I take out the trash likes she wants without being told. I even misbehave once in awhile just to see what she will do. She does nothing. I am at my wits end. The other day she commented on not liking the pressure. I don't pressure her at all. So I asked to what pressure was she referring. She then admitted that I don't pressure her. Frankly, it all sounds as if she just doesn't care what happens to our relationship.
ReplyDeleteSo, no, chastity has not worked well for me. I get little or nothing in the way of sex, but I also get nothing in the way of chastity either. I give up...