Why FLRs Fail

It's nice to go to some of the online forums and read what others say about how successful their Female Led Relationships are. But there is one other thing that always stands out when I do this... The questions asked by the “newbies.” The most common question I see is, “How can I get her to take control and do more sexual stuff?”

The answer is so simple you may never think of it yourself. First of all, you have probably spent several months, if not years, researching FLRs and how they are “supposed” to work. You have built this fantasy in your head of the perfect FLR. One in which your wife teases you almost constantly, she punishes you at every turn, she even wears a great deal of sexy clothing that she never wore before. And there, my friends, is the problem.

Chances are, your wife, even though she may agree to take more control, has NOT done all the research you have. She has NOT built up a fantasy world in her mind of how things should be. She probably doesn't even know how to proceed. But YOU keep telling her how she should do things.

Bad! Bad, bad, sub! You must realize that she needs to learn everything you already know. But if YOU try to tell her how do everything, she feels like you are still the one in control. And the fact is, you are! But that's NOT how it should be. We all know that. So why not back off, suggest some reading or research material that can actually be of help to her. Mistress Ivey's web sites, her books, even her couple's training if it is open, are all good places to send her. I am not just saying that because she is my wife and, of course, I benefit from it, but because most of the information you find on the Internet is extreme, to say the least. The Internet might actually scare her out of wanting to do it at all.

My point is, you have to allow her to progress at her own pace. Let her do what she is comfortable doing and be patient for the rest. If you keep topping from the bottom, chances are she will NEVER fully accept her role as your Mistress. There is a lot to learn. It will take her time to learn it. Even then, she isn't going to do anything that she is not comfortable with. So give her a chance. Don't push her. Let her go at her own pace and you will be surprised how fast she can progress.

Give her help in the form of knowledge about you and what you like, enjoy, are afraid of. Tell her what would be humiliating for you, what you would do ONLY if she ordered you to do it. But do NOT expect her to jump right in with both feet.

Point her in the right direction and then stand back and wait for her to catch up to you.

nemo

Ivey's Slave Training

In case you hadn't noticed, Mistress Ivey has started taking on long-distance slaves again. She did this for awhile early this year, but there were home/life problems that caused her to have to stop. But now, she is doing it again, but in a slightly different way.

If you want her to be your Mistress, you must choose whether or not you want to be locked up in chastity. Of course, you can change your mind and add chastity at a later date, or you can start with chastity and eliminate it later if you wish. In other words, she is now giving you more leeway in the type of things you want her to do for you.

Yes, you have to purchase tasks, but it's worth it. Most of the tasks are individually designed for each slave, so each slave gets a more personalized training. You also have to purchase orgasms if you chose to engage in chastity. There are reasons why she decided to work it this way. You can read all about that here.

Take my word for it, I have had to perform some of the tasks she has assigned to other slaves. I am sort of her 'Crash-test dummy' in that respect. I have to admit, from what I have seen, no other online Mistress does all that Mistress Ivey does when it comes to caring for and about her slaves.

If you have had a bad experience with some other Mistress, don't let that stop you. You can quit at anytime. The best part is that you actually get to communicate on a personal basis with her. That alone, makes it worth the effort.

Sometimes Mistress Ivey will play games. The tasks she assigns within the confines of the games DO NOT cost you anything. So you actually get more for your money than it would initially appear. She has limited time and must limit the number of slaves she can handle at one time, so now is the time to join. If you wait, it might be too late.

Good luck!

nemo (slave 7)

Being Mistress Ivey's slave

Yes, I am Mistress Ivey's slave, for those who didn't already know that. Let me tell you, it isn't always easy! We have been very busy the last couple of months, First there was a nice long vacation that we really needed. Followed by another month of readjusting our son's medication. Finally, Mistress was able to get the outpatient surgery that she had not had done for a year. Now that that is all out of the way, she decided to start taking on a few long-distance slaves. In preparation for that she need to have a starter list of various tasks ready for those men (and women) who wanted her to be their Mistress.

Guess who had to perform most of those tasks to see if they worked well... You guessed it, me! I don't want to complain, but some of those tasks, which will be assigned according the individuals needs and desires, can be quite difficult, especially when you are doing things that are designed for other people, which is what I had to do.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that her new slave service should be quite an experience for those of you take advantage of it. Rest assured, like it or not, I may be the guinea pig for your special tasks. If you have ever tried any of those other “keyholder” services that merely make you wait X number of days to get unlocked, you are in for a big surprise with Mistress Ivey's service. Take it from one who knows, every task is designed specifically for each individual. Give it a try and see for yourself. I think you will love it.

Mistress Ivey may not actually be there with you while you perform the tasks she assigns, but rest assured, you will feel like she is watching your ever move!

nemo

Cross-Dressing

There is a great deal of information on the web about male cross-dressing. Now, of course, for a woman to dress like a man, there is no stigma or even much erotic appeal since you see little to nothing concerning that. But for men wearing women's clothing, the story is altogether different. I use the web, and what I can find there as a guide to what is popular (sexually speaking) and what is not.

Since there is so much on web about male cross-dressing, I thought I would look into it to see just how popular it really is. After all, if there is a great deal of it on the web, there must be a few of us submissive types who are into it. As a child I did sometimes wear my sister's panties. I think I did it more for the feel of the satin or nylon against my skin, than any other reason. But I also admit that there are times when I fantasize about being forced to dress up (to various degrees) by my Mistress. It is usually in a humiliation context, not as something I “want” to do, but more of something I am “forced” to do, for the humiliation.

I have no idea how many men in the world have similar fantasies, but with everything I see on the web about it, there must be a fairly significant number of men who either want to do it (try it) or who fantasize about being forced to do it. To be honest, I have even had fantasies in which I am not only forced to dress like a woman, but I am even transformed through whatever means into a woman except that I am allowed to maintain my male “equipment.”

I often wonder just how many others out there have similar fantasies, or how many really want something such as that to happen to them. I would love to hear from those of you have had similar fantasies or who have been humiliated by your partner by being “forced” to dress up. Please don't be shy. You post your comments anonymously, or you can write me directly at nemo(dot)slave7(at)gmail.com.

Please share your dreams and/or experiences with the rest of us.

nemo

Things You Want To Here (or not!)

As a way of explaining some of what I am talking about when I say that there are things you want your Mistress (or Queen, Goddess, etc.) to say or do to you, I present this set of photos. These are things that, for some, would only be fantasy, while others would hope they really come true. Each of us is different, and so will have different views of each photo. Is it something you want here to do, or something you just want her to say???

 

There you have it. You decide which you would want to hear as a fantasy and which you would like to see come true. How you let your Domme know, it up to you,

Good Luck!

slave nemo

Approaching Her

One of the questions I get most often, and so does my wife (Ms. Ivey), from men is, “How do I approach my wife about this?” The word “this” can be replaced with just about any sexual thing a man might want to do. It doesn't really matter what “this” is because the answer is always the same.

Every man, woman, and child on the planet is different. Big shock! That's what makes our world work. I remember an old Twilight Zone episode in which a man was given the opportunity to see what life would be like if everyone was like him. Everyone had his attitude about everything. He found he couldn't get along with anyone, not because people were different from him, but because of his own attitudes. He realized that his problems were all of his own making and not the result of what other people thought.

My point is, there is no one answer to the question of “how do I approach my wife about (whatever)?” I have tried and tried to come up with an answer that might work on more women than any other, but there just isn't a simple answer. So here is my response...

If you want to tell your spouse that you have an interest in this or that, there are two basic approaches: 1) you can sit her down and have a serious talk with her, or 2) you can drop hints or little suggestions that will lead her to the point where she will ask you about it. The first option (talking) is the one I usually recommend, simply because I have always found it easier to come right out and say whatever is on my mind.

Suppose you want your wife to lock you up in a steel chastity device, but don't know how to bring up the subject. If you don't feel that you can come right out with it for fear she will laugh at you, or get angry because you are a “pervert” of some sort, then you may need to drop a few hints before actually talking about it. But I still vote for the direct approach. It gets everything out into the open right away.

The best approach is to tell her that there is something that you want to talk about, and you don't want her to laugh or put you down for it. Tell her it is something that you feel strongly about and that you need to get it out in the open. Set up a time, maybe after dinner, and then keep the appointment.

Start your discussion by telling her that if she thinks you are crazy or perverted, that you will simply drop the subject and bring it up at a later date. Be serious. Don't laugh that nervous laugh of yours. Instead, tell her that you want to do something to improve your sex lives and that you have a suggestion if she is willing to listen. Tell her that you will be willing to listen to her if she has any suggestions as well. Let her know that you are not trying to pressure her. You simply want to discuss the problem and get her input as well.

Don't get upset if she thinks the idea is crazy. Give it some time. In a week or so you can bring it up again by simply asking her if she has given your idea any more thought. Once you have opened the door to the idea, you will should find it much easier to bring it up again. Be persistent. Don't pressure her, but keep your idea in her mind. Keep her thinking about it. Maybe, she will eventually come around.

Slave nemo

Chastity Captioned Photos 1-5

Thought you might enjoy these. That and they might give your partner some ideas... (Evil wink)

nemo

Activities for submissive men

One of my readers has suggested that I post more (and I assume, varied) ideas for sexual activities. There is an inherent problem with doing that... This blog is for men, specifically submissive men (at least in bed). I doubt I have many female readers, but, of course, you could always forward a link or my feed to that special woman in your life. You see, telling your partner what it is you want can go one of several ways, not the least of which is that she will feel you are trying to top from the bottom and that just won't work. Besides, if you have to tell her what you want, it will, most likely, remove some of the enjoyment from the experience if she does decide to do it. Sort of a catch 22, I'm afraid.

However, how you tell her is up to you. My job is to give you some ideas, so I will try. You may get some ideas from my posts, anyway. Even the Captioned Photos are full of ideas!

Before I go any further, I would like to put out a plea for those of you who have ideas of your own, or who may have had some, shall we say, uniquely enjoyable experiences, please put them into a comment. If not on this post, at lease somewhere we can find it. If they are really good, I may re-post them for you.

What makes an activity exciting and enjoyable? Of course, it varies from person to person, but in general it is the thrill of something new, unique, and, yes, even scary! You know what I mean. If you enjoy the thrill of riding a new roller-coaster because of the “scary” aspect of it, that is what this is like. The thrill of the unknown. Humiliation can also play a huge role in these kinds of activities. That, too, varies from person to person.

Here is a short list that I came up with while thinking about this post. These are not in any specific order, so you may have to read the entire list to find something you like. If you are like me, however, you may want your partner to see the whole list!

• Being forced to wear a chastity device
• Being bound and teased
• Being blindfolded
• Having ice rubbed on your body
• Nipple play (clips, clamps & suction)
• Being naked all day
• Electro-play (using an approved device)
• Being flogged, spanked, paddled (within reason)
• Being edged several times in one session then denied
• Prostate milking
• Ruined orgasm milking (several in one session)
• Being denied an orgasm
• Ruined orgasms
• Being punished for poor performance or disobedience (spanked, paddled or scolded)
• Being forced to wear butt-plugs
• Being fucked with strap-ons or dildos
• Being forced to cum by machine as many times as possible
• Being forced to drink your own cum
• CBT both real and fantasy
• Being denied an orgasm for an extended period
• Being forced to masturbate for Mistress
• Having suction cups applied to your nipples
• Being video recorded or photographed for the web
• Icy-Hot or other mentholated cream used on your cock, balls or anus
• Being fondled for a few minutes while Mistress gives you instructions
• Being cuckolded
• Being forced to suck another man's cock
• Giving Mistress a full body massage!

Though humiliations scare me, I love them. I love them because Mistress has demanded that I do them. If you feel the same way, here is a short list of humiliating activities.

List of humiliations:

• Having to masturbate for Mistress
• Exposing yourself to others
• Sitting naked on a punishment pad (such as a jute door mat)
• Having weights tied to your balls while you perform chores
• Wearing panties (especially crotchless) or other women's clothing in private or in public
• Wearing a butt-plug at any time (especially when in public)
• Sucking a dildo or strap-on
• Prostate milking (especially in front of others)
• Being fondled in public or semi-public (restaurant, theater, car, etc.)
• Being forced to drink your own (or someone else's) cum
• Being forced to wear women's lingerie (or just an apron)
• Being used outdoors in any way
• Being forced to suck a dildo
• Being forced to use a masturbation device (Tenga eggs for example)
• Being forced to fuck a blow up doll (especially if video recorded)
• Being dressed as a maid to serve Mistress (and/or others)
• Being bound and used by a group (males and females)
• Being forced to masturbate in front of Mistress and/or her friends
• Being teased by Mistress and another woman
• Being loaned out to another Mistress for a day
• Any Clothed Female/Naked Male (CFNM) scene

Sometimes, just talking about making you do any of these things can get you very aroused. Being aroused is what makes me want to serve Mistress. Talking to me about these things is a very good way for her to tease me sexually. Again, your list may vary, but I hope you get the idea.

slave nemo

The Milking

Mistress called me into the room where she and her two guests were sitting. All I was wearing was the tiny white apron and a pair of pink crotchless panties that Mistress allowed. I hesitated just before passing through the doorway to the living room. I had never been dressed this way in front of anyone other than Mistress before and I was terrified. However, I knew the consequences of failing to appear when Mistress called would be more painful than anything else I could think of.

I gathered my courage and stepped through the doorway into the living room. I could feel the eyes of the two women follow my every step as neared the couch where they sat. Mistress was sitting in a chair opposite the couch which meant that I would at least have my back to her guests. The humiliation I felt at having to stand in front of them, dressed as I was, was truly immense. I am certain my face had turned a bright shade of red.

“What can I do for you, Mistress,” I asked after performing a half curtsy.

“You can turn around and greet my guests properly,” she replied in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“Yes, Ma'am,” I replied, then slowly turned to face her two guests. “Welcome to our humble home, Ladies,” I said politely as I had been taught to do. “Is there anything I can get for you? Coffee, tea, or perhaps lemonade?”

“No, thank you,” they both replied.

“Tell me, Jenn,” the blonde woman sitting to my left asked, “is he in chastity?”

“Lift your apron, slave,” Jenn commanded.

I did as I was told and lifted the hem of my apron to reveal my cock and balls. They were, indeed, encased in a chastity device. Of course, my cock was visibly pressing against its confines and my balls were in clear view, hanging beneath the cage.

The other woman, who had red hair, asked, “Jenn, can you demonstrate how you milk him with his chastity device still in place?”

“Oh yes,” said the blonde. “I would love to see that, too.”

“Of course,” Jenn said as she rose from her seat. “On your knees, slave,” she ordered.

“Yes, Mistress,” I replied as I knelt down on all fours on the coffee table. It was customary that I be milked on the coffee table so that Mistress does not have to get down on the floor to do it. The coffee table put my exposed bottom in just the right position for her to do whatever she wanted to it, including milking my prostate.

By this time my cock was straining at the confines of its cage. It was painful, but not so much that I could not stand it. I know it was because of a combination of things... Two strange women, whose names I didn't even know, watching, and I always get turned on when Mistress decides to milk me. The worst part is that Mistress excused herself and quickly disappeared into the kitchen. I know she only went to get a rubber glove and some lubrication, but there I was, alone with two strange women, forced to stay on all fours on top of the coffee table, right in in front of them.

Needless to say, it seemed like Mistress was gone for an hour, though I am sure it was only a few minutes at most. One of the women, placed her hand on my bottom and leaned over to get a better look at my ass. The other one lifted up my apron and tucked it into the waist-belt so that she could see my cock and balls hanging down. Talk about humiliation! Boy was that ever embarrassing!

Finally, Mistress returned. She entered the room pulling on the rubber glove and holding the bottle of lube she had brought. She placed her gloved hand on my ass and explained that whenever she put anything into my ass, it needed to be well lubricated. With that, she poured some of the lube over the fingers of her gloved hand and quickly began fingering my tight little hole.

I could feel the textured portion of the fingertips of the glove as she spread the lubricant around the outside of the hole and then when she pushed one finger inside to make sure that was lubricated as well.

One of the ladies (the red-head) remarked that she had never tried this on her husband because she didn't really know what to do, so Mistress removed the glove and offered it to her. She took the glove and slipped her hand into it gently. “Now what?” she asked as she stepped behind me.

“Just work your middle finger into his ass and push it in until you can feel his prostate,” Mistress explained. “It's about the size of a walnut.”

The woman pushed her finger into my tight little hole and worked it in until she exclaimed, “I think I found it! What do I do now?”

“Just run your finger around it vigorously,” Mistress Explained, “and watch for the results.”

I could feel the woman's fingertip moving around my prostate and it didn't take more than a minute before she had my cum dripping rapidly from the end of my swollen cock. I was so glad that Mistress had not put the little spikes in my cock-cage. IF she had, I would have been in excruciating pain by this time.

Mistress held her hand under my cock and caught all the cum that seeped from my swollen, trapped member. When the last of it had dripped onto her palm, Mistress moved to offer it to me to drink. I always had to drink my own cum. It was expected, and I didn't dare embarrass Mistress by refusing to drink it. I do hate the taste, though, and much rather not drink it. But Since I have to do whatever Mistress tells me or suffer the consequences, I drank it all up.

The women both laughed and made a few jokes at my expense, but I endured. I always endure when it comes to Mistress' wishes.

nemo.slave7

I'm Baaaack...

I have not posted to this blog for quite some time. We won't go into the details of why, but suffice it to say, I am back and I plan to make some posts that I think you will like. I will post some stories about chastity, serving a Mistress, cuckolding, forced bi-sexuality, and just about anything else you can think of that goes along with being a male sub in a female led relationship.

I hope to cover some of the things that bother us subs and things in which we find delight, fantasies, teasing, denial, and all the rest. I hope you will sign up for email delivery (or at least return often) so that you don't miss a single post. I think you will enjoy the new blog posts. Maybe you can even give me some ideas that I can post about as well.

nemo