Fantasies Are Fun!

Remember when you had all those fantasies about being controlled by your lover? Remember how you just knew things would be great! How much fun you would have tending to her needs and putting your own needs second to hers? Remember when you would occasionally masturbate just thinking about having your cock locked up and only getting released when SHE wanted it? Those were they days...

Now that reality has set in, is it as much fun as you hoped it would be? Are your needs being met by what she wants? Are you as happy as you thought you would be? Let's hope so. But for many, reality rarely measures up to the fantasies we had before. Before the reality hit, that is. I have seen both sides of the fence, having once been a Master to my wife/slave. Things were different then. I was in control. I was the one who decided when, where and how we would have sex. Of even IF we had sex. I was in control of HER orgasms. So, would I trade places again?

The answer to that is more complicated than it sounds. I wanted to give control to Mistress. I wanted to be relieved of all the stress of making every decision that came along. But that's not the question, is it? The question is, is my current situation what I thought it would be? The answer is more complex than a simple “yes” or “no”. Yes, I am happy not to be making those decisions any longer. After all, that was the cause of most of my stress.

However, Mistress has desires that I never knew existed. She wants things from me that were never a part of my fantasies. She doesn't seem to want sex (or to tend to my sexual needs) as often as I had imagined she would. But when I look back and compare my fantasies with reality, it's not fair to her (or myself).

I had to face reality. The reality that I can't have everything my way. If I did, how then would she be in control? So how do I reconcile reality with the fantasies I once had about life in a female led relationship? I focus on the one thing that I wanted more than anything else... Her in charge. No, I don't get everything I want. Who really does? I mean, even the one charge has to be cognizant of his/her partner's needs to be happy. After all, happiness is what this is all about, isn't it? So compromise is how we accomplish things in this world.

By focusing on the things that I DO get, I can pacify my desire for what I don't. Also, being the best husband and lover I can be, gets me a great deal more than not. Therefore, I try to be the best, most attentive, most caring, most obedient, husband I can be. I still may not get everything I would like, but I avoid many things I don't want, as well. It seems to be a good compromise. I don't get teased as much as I would like, but I don't paddled as much as I could be. (Those of you who love the pain may want to take a different tack.)

Talking with others has opened my eyes to a few things. First of all, ask yourself this question, “Does my Mistress really know and understand my fantasies?” If you can't honestly answer, “Yes,” to that question, then you need to be communicating more. Take the time, letters, emails, or better yet, just talking with her can bring you a great deal of joy and even more of what you want from her.

I guess what I am trying to convey here is, don't dwell on those things you don't have, rather, take joy in the ones you do. Life will never be exactly what we would dream, but you can always make it better, if you try.

nemo