Do You Know Your KH?

Just because you have been married for X years does not mean that you know what kind of Mistress or Key Holder your wife will make. Without a great deal communication between the two of you, you really can't be sure just what she will do. Now I know that that is part of the attraction (not knowing) but you MUST know that your own limits will not be crossed.

This is where many people will tell you that that is what contracts are for. But let's face it, most married couples will just blow off the whole contract idea for one reason or another. Maybe they think they know each other well enough, or they have an understanding, or they are just plain too lazy to take the time to put one together. But whatever the reason, far too many will not have a contract.

Okay, so let's assume you are trusting enough to by-pass the contract thing. What are you going to do when your KH starts to neglect you and your needs. Or, worse, she cuckolds you when you “thought” that was well beyond your limits. It does happen. You should make sure that there is a way for you to discuss how things are going and what things you want to try and DON'T want to try.

Perhaps you never thought of this, but what happens if your KH decides she is tired of that teasing stuff? What happens if she no longer teases you at all. Are you prepared for that? Or is that something you want to talk about BEFORE it happens? You decide. I know the chastity credo is “Be careful what you ask for,” but perhaps it should be “Know your Key Holder.”

Just like men, women's fantasies, desires, likes and dislikes can (and often do) change. Make sure you have a way to adjust to those changes. For example, I know of one couple who began to play with chastity. The wife was reluctant at first because she was not comfortable being in charge. After only a few months, she began to enjoy being quite sadistic. She moved from the occasional hesitant spanking to some pretty severe paddling and whipping. They solved this problem by joining a local BDSM group where she was able to release her sadistic side on some men who knew how to take it (as well as liked it). She's back to applying more gentle corrections when he needs it.

I would suggest that you BOTH make a list. In it you should list all those fantasies you have always had. Mark the ones that you would never really want to come true. Include a list of activities that you enjoy as well as a list of things that you NEVER want to do. Both of you need to make these lists and then you should actually sit down and talk about them. Compare your lists, modify them if you think of something else. Don't be afraid to talk about what you want or expect from a key Holder. It's your cock, for now, so protect it.

So, back to my original question, how well do you really know your KH?

nemo