As a sub/slave there are times when I
wish Mistress would tease me more than she does. You may think I am
just greedy, but there have been weeks at a time that I received no
teasing what so ever. Now I know that it is entirely up to Mistress
to decide when, where, and how I am teased. But frankly, there are
times when I feel I am being ignored.
I have a suspicion I am not alone in
this. I have seen comments (and received a few) that indicate some
other guys get the same feeling from time to time. I can't speak for
them, but in my case, it's a matter of mismatched libidos. That is, I
want it, she doesn't. I suppose, if I were in a non-chaste situation,
that is, a marriage that does not include male chastity, I might be
able to sit down and discuss it with her. But as a slave, I really
can't do that.
I have made the efforts. That is, I
have done my chores, offered to pleasure her, dropped hints, and even
steered conversations in that directed. However, I have been met with
the same responses over and over again. She just isn't interested in
sex.
Now that's scary! I have to wonder, is
it me? Or is it really her lack of drive? I keep getting told that it
is really her lack of drive, but I have been totally unable to find
any sort of stimulant that will get her “in the mood” when I
desperately need some attention. I always feel as if it's my fault. I
suppose that is because, as a slave, I always think there should be
something more I could do, but that really isn't the case.
I know in my heart that she is often
just too busy to bother tending to my needs, but that isn't always
the case, either. There are other times when she just plain doesn't
have the sex drive that I wish she did, let alone one as strong as
mine. I also know there are so often other things in her life that
detract from our sexual togetherness.
In the past, pre-chastity, I could have
(and often did) take matters into my own hands, and life went on.
But, of course, my chastity sort of gets in the way, if you know what
I mean. So masturbation is definitely NOT the answer.
I guess my only recourse is to sit back
and wait until she gets “in the mood” and be happy with what
little attention I do get. But I am guessing that I am not alone.
There must be others out there who have (or have had) this problem.
So, what have you done in this situation? Or what would you suggest
that I do?
nemo
Try NHRT natural hormone replacement therapy.
ReplyDeleteI don't get a lot of teasing either, at least not the physical "edging" type of teasing but that is by mutual agreement right now. I am sure we will go back to that later but for now it is the opposite. I am allowed absolutely no touch at all for very long periods of time. The last time I was touched was early in November and it won't be until early February until I will be teased again that way. What gets me going through this is being teased about not being teased. When my wife does this it is almost euphoric and I usually beg for even more denial time.
ReplyDeleteDo some googling for "female libido" and terms like "why women hate sex" etc. You'll find that porn, modern advertising & TV shows like Sex in the City and so on have sold us a lie that the female libido works the same as the male libido. That only holds true for a very tiny minority. For the most part, men are visually excited so we're good to go the second we get the right physical or mental imagery. Women on the other hand have emotional libidos and respond (more as a reciprocation than an initiation) when they feel safe, secure, loved, nurtured, unstressed, reproductive, after a laugh and so on.
ReplyDeleteA lot of FLR fantasies and stories rely on the idea of women having male-like libidos so we men often have unrealistic expectations about how it's supposed to work, but once we understand better how women work and change our fantasies to match we can have our cake and eat it to.
Sometimes it's not just about libidos. Life often just happens and take focus away from our erotic relationships. Not being able to masturbate intensifies these periods because while our partners have to deal with their own issues we are essentially waiting for them - horny - noticing every second as it ticks by.
ReplyDeleteIt's just life. It happens because we're all individuals with our own needs and desires. It's what makes us savour the good times when things fall back in synch.
Mmmmm. Had the same problem.
ReplyDeleteKnew we were mismatched before walking the "chastity" walk, and really expected things to pick up when I was locked up.
It didn't happen and after 6 years of trying I have largely given up.
You ask "What have I done"
Well I do self lock for periods of up to 3 weeks, hoping against hope, that things will change,..........they haven't.
I do take things into my own hand, so to speak, and as naked Husband says,....life goes on and its to late to move into any other arrangement.
Dont mean to be negative, just telling it as I have experienced it.
Good luck with your situation
Barney via fetlife
As Iam a "senior" it may be different for you.
I don't get teased at all. Mistress knows I like it so it doesn't happen. If I am lucky I get to do Her feet or I am allowed to make Her have an orgasm or two. Locked up or not that is still very frustrating. I just wish she would tease I know we would both get a lot out of it.
ReplyDeleteThis post strikes a chord with me. In our FLR journey, I have come to understand that without my domme providing some physical contact, some acknowledgement of my sex drive, I can quickly become depressed. The worst times (for me) in our FLR is when she accepts pleasure from me and then sort of just rolls over and leaves me alone. That's terrible for a sub. I 'get' that life can get in the way and she may be too tired to do a full-on domme session, but I need some sort of acknowledgement from her - verbal or physical - that she enjoyed my service, that she enjoys me being denied, etc. It makes all the difference to me.
ReplyDeleteI think that being a domme is much more than accepting the service of a sub, but understanding his needs and providing some sort of feedback.
Thank you all for your insightful comments. It's good to know that I am not alone, that my depression is 'normal.' I am hoping that things will pick up after the holidays. This has never been a good time of year for her (or me, for that matter).
ReplyDeleteI did notice that although I am not alone, no one else seems to have any answers. Perhaps I'll work on that.
A bit late responding, but yes! I deal with this often. For me, I'm fine if I'm able to pleasure her. When that happens, I find the "frustration" to be enjoyable. I will often tell my wife at those times that I am "deliciously frustrated". Where I struggle is when she doesn't want any attention and I'm not being teased or at least verbally reminded about my chaste condition. I can get depressed and grumpy. To a degree I think it is just something we need to deal with, a part of living under our wives control (with or without FLR). Not being allowed to masturbate has it's downside, and we have signed up for the whole package when we handed that control to the woman in our life.
ReplyDeleteI find that the desire to be teased goes hand in hand with just having contact with my bride. The more I understand and accept the lack of teasing the more I desire it. The desire has become so strong that I look for every possible avenue.
ReplyDeleteWell from this ladies point of veiw i like to be teased and denied to cum myself. If you could just get your mistress to play along. Pleasure her then tease her and leave her horny!!! I love it myself.
ReplyDelete