Just Married

Setting The Date

Not Happy!

What Do You Want?

What are you actually looking for in a Female Led Relationship? Have you ever truly thought about it? Have you bothered to sit down and make a list of the things you want a Mistress to do to you, or what kind of Mistress you want? Have you actually made a list of things (or types of things) you would want her to do? Or have you simply fantasized about how it would be if you had your perfect Mistress? If you have only fantasized, have your fantasies evolved? Have they changed in any way? If you have a Mistress, have you expressed these changes in your fantasies to her?

I know that's a lot of questions to ask. But if you are like most of the other men I talk with (including myself) you probably realize that you have let things go too long without properly defining some of these things. At the very least, you may need to update your fantasies. That is, your fantasies have changed or evolved and you have not communicated these changes to your Mistress. If you are one of those who had to talk your partner into entering a FLR, you may not have kept her properly informed of the things she is doing right and those things you would like to change.

For example, I have noticed that many of my fantasies now include things that, when I first started out, I would never have even considered doing, much less found them erotic. But things change. Oh I still want her to engage in a great deal of tease and denial, cock teasing, or whatever you want to call it, but there are other things I would actually like to try that she still thinks are a definite “no-no” on my list.

If you look over the list of questions I asked at the beginning of this post, perhaps you will find some things that you need to do. If the regular cock teasing has lost some of its thrill, perhaps it's because you need to let your Mistress know about the changes in your fantasies so that she can use the information to heighten your enjoyment during your next session of tease and denial. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, communication is the key to happiness. Make your lists, sit down with your Mistress and communicate to her what is on those lists. After all, how else will she ever know what you like/want if you don't tell her?

Just be careful what you ask for... You may just get it!

nemo

Getting What You Want

Many times, what we want and what we think we want, are two different things. Sometimes we get exactly what we want. I'll leave it to the reader to decide. After all, Mistress may decide what we get, but only you know if that was what you wanted...

nemo

New POT Video Added

I just added a super Post Orgasm Torture video to my videos page. It's the first one on the list. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I first saw it.

memo

Good News & Bad News

All too often in the world of male chastity (possibly female as well) when we get what we want, it's not what we were expecting. All too often, things don't actually go as planned. That is to say, what we want and what we get are not always the same. Oh, I admit, many times it's better. But for those times when it's not, perhaps the fault is our own.

Years ago, when I first entered into the world of BDSM, I quickly discovered that the single most important thing a couple needs, is trust. All the communication in the world can't help if there is no trust. In our rush to get our partners to engage in our fantasies of tease, denial, chastity and obedience, we sometimes forget to build that all important trust. After all, if your domme (Femdom, key holder, or Mistress) is someone with whom you have spent many years in a relationship, it's easy to think that you know them.

I don't know how many times I have seen guys regret their decision to enlist their wives, lovers, or whomever, in their female led relationship simply because this person turned out to be something unexpected. I've heard a thousand times how well someone "thinks" they know their partner, only to learn (the hard way) that they really don't know them at all. That's where trust comes in.

You can't simply trust someone because you think you how they will behave in certain situations. You have to be sure. Being sure means you MUST have rules. Rules regarding what she can and can't do. Rules that will protect you from her should she decide something might be fun, when, in fact, for you it would be a nightmare. I'm not saying you need a contract, though that's not a bad idea. What you need is a check list. One that covers all the things that she could possibly do, or think of to do.

One place that has a great check list is Soul's Haven. At the very least, it's a great place to start. You mark things the way you feel about them giving your partner a guide to what she can do, what you like, love, or hate. She can choose things that you "sort of" don't want to do and use them as areas of growth, taking you into them slowly so as not to betray your trust, and yet, training you to enjoy some of the things she likes as well.

Before you rush headlong into chastity (or even BDSM) take a few minutes to fill out a checklist and let your Domme look it over. You'll be glad you did.

nemo