Good News & Bad News

All too often in the world of male chastity (possibly female as well) when we get what we want, it's not what we were expecting. All too often, things don't actually go as planned. That is to say, what we want and what we get are not always the same. Oh, I admit, many times it's better. But for those times when it's not, perhaps the fault is our own.

Years ago, when I first entered into the world of BDSM, I quickly discovered that the single most important thing a couple needs, is trust. All the communication in the world can't help if there is no trust. In our rush to get our partners to engage in our fantasies of tease, denial, chastity and obedience, we sometimes forget to build that all important trust. After all, if your domme (Femdom, key holder, or Mistress) is someone with whom you have spent many years in a relationship, it's easy to think that you know them.

I don't know how many times I have seen guys regret their decision to enlist their wives, lovers, or whomever, in their female led relationship simply because this person turned out to be something unexpected. I've heard a thousand times how well someone "thinks" they know their partner, only to learn (the hard way) that they really don't know them at all. That's where trust comes in.

You can't simply trust someone because you think you how they will behave in certain situations. You have to be sure. Being sure means you MUST have rules. Rules regarding what she can and can't do. Rules that will protect you from her should she decide something might be fun, when, in fact, for you it would be a nightmare. I'm not saying you need a contract, though that's not a bad idea. What you need is a check list. One that covers all the things that she could possibly do, or think of to do.

One place that has a great check list is Soul's Haven. At the very least, it's a great place to start. You mark things the way you feel about them giving your partner a guide to what she can do, what you like, love, or hate. She can choose things that you "sort of" don't want to do and use them as areas of growth, taking you into them slowly so as not to betray your trust, and yet, training you to enjoy some of the things she likes as well.

Before you rush headlong into chastity (or even BDSM) take a few minutes to fill out a checklist and let your Domme look it over. You'll be glad you did.

nemo