Sunday, May 13, 2012

Evolution of Sexual Desire

I don't know about you, but for me, I have gone through a long evolution in regard to my sexual desires. As I look back on my life, it's always been that way. Throughout my life, in spite of all the changes, there has been one constant... BDSM.

Of course, I didn't always know what it was called, but it was still there. I remember when I was only five years old I convinced a little girl to sit on a “sticker bush.” I held malice toward her, I just wanted to make her do it. Yes, I did get a sexual thrill from it. That was just the beginning of my sexual entrance into the world of BDSM.

As I grew older, my thoughts, my dreams, all seemed to take on a BDSM flavor. I tried simple bondage with my first wife. But by the end of my second marriage, that was not enough. That's when I moved into more serious things. I studied. I learned from others. Eventually, I became a dominant in my own right.

To make a longs story short, I eventually, found my perfect mate. A slave to call my own. One who loved serving me, feeling my whips, nipple torture, and whatever else my desires drove me to. We went through a rough period (not our marriage, but outside influences) that made us decide to put aside the BDSM stuff for awhile.

When we finally decided to take it up again, well, we did it differently. But I digress.

Once we decided to switch roles, I began reading stories and blogs and whatever I could find about male submissives. My desires started out wanting serve Mistress, then evolved into wanting to be physically tortured (whipped, paddled, electrified, etc.). I had read stories of chastity, but that didn't interest me... at the time.

As time went by, chastity, along with tease and denial became of interest. But things like cuckolding and bi-sexual activity were things I had no desire to ever do. I didn't want to be used in front of a group of people, either. That would be too humiliating.

Now, I am beginning to see the excitement that can be realized through humiliation. The sexual embarrassment, the thrill of being “forced” to do things I would not otherwise do. I still don't have the desire to be a cuckold, but I can see it coming, along with other things I used to think I would never do, much less have a great desire for.

So, if you are like me, and have gone through a evolution in sexual desires, all I can say, don't fight it. Don't push too hard or move too fast, but don't fight it. Allow yourself to be open to new and different experiences. Think of them as adventures you may someday have. Instead of fearing them, embrace the possibilities. Some things may never come, but when you have the opportunity for a new and different experience, open yourself up to the possibility that you just might enjoy it.

nemo

1 comment:

  1. how interesting to read your article, these feelings you describe are so accurate i could have composed this piece myself ~ and to have these desires at such a young age too!
    luv, faye

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