Why FLRs Fail

It's nice to go to some of the online forums and read what others say about how successful their Female Led Relationships are. But there is one other thing that always stands out when I do this... The questions asked by the “newbies.” The most common question I see is, “How can I get her to take control and do more sexual stuff?”

The answer is so simple you may never think of it yourself. First of all, you have probably spent several months, if not years, researching FLRs and how they are “supposed” to work. You have built this fantasy in your head of the perfect FLR. One in which your wife teases you almost constantly, she punishes you at every turn, she even wears a great deal of sexy clothing that she never wore before. And there, my friends, is the problem.

Chances are, your wife, even though she may agree to take more control, has NOT done all the research you have. She has NOT built up a fantasy world in her mind of how things should be. She probably doesn't even know how to proceed. But YOU keep telling her how she should do things.

Bad! Bad, bad, sub! You must realize that she needs to learn everything you already know. But if YOU try to tell her how do everything, she feels like you are still the one in control. And the fact is, you are! But that's NOT how it should be. We all know that. So why not back off, suggest some reading or research material that can actually be of help to her. Mistress Ivey's web sites, her books, even her couple's training if it is open, are all good places to send her. I am not just saying that because she is my wife and, of course, I benefit from it, but because most of the information you find on the Internet is extreme, to say the least. The Internet might actually scare her out of wanting to do it at all.

My point is, you have to allow her to progress at her own pace. Let her do what she is comfortable doing and be patient for the rest. If you keep topping from the bottom, chances are she will NEVER fully accept her role as your Mistress. There is a lot to learn. It will take her time to learn it. Even then, she isn't going to do anything that she is not comfortable with. So give her a chance. Don't push her. Let her go at her own pace and you will be surprised how fast she can progress.

Give her help in the form of knowledge about you and what you like, enjoy, are afraid of. Tell her what would be humiliating for you, what you would do ONLY if she ordered you to do it. But do NOT expect her to jump right in with both feet.

Point her in the right direction and then stand back and wait for her to catch up to you.

nemo

Ivey's Slave Training

In case you hadn't noticed, Mistress Ivey has started taking on long-distance slaves again. She did this for awhile early this year, but there were home/life problems that caused her to have to stop. But now, she is doing it again, but in a slightly different way.

If you want her to be your Mistress, you must choose whether or not you want to be locked up in chastity. Of course, you can change your mind and add chastity at a later date, or you can start with chastity and eliminate it later if you wish. In other words, she is now giving you more leeway in the type of things you want her to do for you.

Yes, you have to purchase tasks, but it's worth it. Most of the tasks are individually designed for each slave, so each slave gets a more personalized training. You also have to purchase orgasms if you chose to engage in chastity. There are reasons why she decided to work it this way. You can read all about that here.

Take my word for it, I have had to perform some of the tasks she has assigned to other slaves. I am sort of her 'Crash-test dummy' in that respect. I have to admit, from what I have seen, no other online Mistress does all that Mistress Ivey does when it comes to caring for and about her slaves.

If you have had a bad experience with some other Mistress, don't let that stop you. You can quit at anytime. The best part is that you actually get to communicate on a personal basis with her. That alone, makes it worth the effort.

Sometimes Mistress Ivey will play games. The tasks she assigns within the confines of the games DO NOT cost you anything. So you actually get more for your money than it would initially appear. She has limited time and must limit the number of slaves she can handle at one time, so now is the time to join. If you wait, it might be too late.

Good luck!

nemo (slave 7)

Being Mistress Ivey's slave

Yes, I am Mistress Ivey's slave, for those who didn't already know that. Let me tell you, it isn't always easy! We have been very busy the last couple of months, First there was a nice long vacation that we really needed. Followed by another month of readjusting our son's medication. Finally, Mistress was able to get the outpatient surgery that she had not had done for a year. Now that that is all out of the way, she decided to start taking on a few long-distance slaves. In preparation for that she need to have a starter list of various tasks ready for those men (and women) who wanted her to be their Mistress.

Guess who had to perform most of those tasks to see if they worked well... You guessed it, me! I don't want to complain, but some of those tasks, which will be assigned according the individuals needs and desires, can be quite difficult, especially when you are doing things that are designed for other people, which is what I had to do.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that her new slave service should be quite an experience for those of you take advantage of it. Rest assured, like it or not, I may be the guinea pig for your special tasks. If you have ever tried any of those other “keyholder” services that merely make you wait X number of days to get unlocked, you are in for a big surprise with Mistress Ivey's service. Take it from one who knows, every task is designed specifically for each individual. Give it a try and see for yourself. I think you will love it.

Mistress Ivey may not actually be there with you while you perform the tasks she assigns, but rest assured, you will feel like she is watching your ever move!

nemo