I love you and adore you and I know I could do a better job doing both, and I want to, I need to. I have found in you someone who challenges me, loves me, and accepts me. You are smart, sexy, caring, and you deserve the best of everything. I may not have the ability to lavish you with material things, but I do have the desire – in fact it is a growing passion – to worship you, to submit to you.
I have been trying to let you know this, but I am not sure you realize what I am saying. I am afraid of you rejecting me, of laughing at me. I want our relationship to be better than it has been. Better in every way. To accomplish that goal, I believe you should be the dominant partner.
I believe you should be the one in charge. All the years I was dominant, underneath it all I wanted to be dominated. I wanted to have a real relationship first, but I also wanted to live a more fulfilling life, as your submissive and, perhaps in time, as a slave. I have realized over time that I could do this with you, that I could submit to you. But I want it ONLY if you want it, too. Only if you like it and if it turns you on.
So what does this mean? Well, first and foremost it gets its meaning from us, not from others, so it is ours to create and change and sustain. For me, serving you means you should have your needs and wants met, whatever they are, and that it is my place to help ensure you are pleased and satisfied. I won't pretend I am all that good at it, yet. I will need guidance, training, a firm, loving hand to teach me what I need to know.
Here is what I want you to understand. This is not a role play to me. This is about living our lives with you in charge and with me serving you. I would like to call you Mistress if that is okay, but even if that does not appeal to you, I want to serve you and service you. Here's the thing, however, for this to work you need to not only want this, you need to exercise your dominance and control actively. I need you to control me not somehow expect me to do all of the right things.
Here's how. Control my sex. Control my orgasms and allow me humiliation and pain and I will be at your command. It is hard for me to admit that, but I know I am ultimately in need of your direction, your control, and when required your discipline. In fact, when you are like this, I am turned on. Sometimes when you are angry with me, I wish you would punish me. Instead I argue with you. I want that to stop. I want you to have things your way. I want to be considered, but I want you to decide and I will obey. I promise.
I will need help to get to this point but here is my vision of service to you.
1. Your happiness is my number one concern.
2. You no longer have to do any house work or laundry. Train me how to meet your standards and I will do these things for you, or help you with them if that's what you want.
3. You decide if and when you go out with me or by yourself. It is understood that if you go out alone or with friends, I will watch [our child] and, if you so decide, clean while you are away.
4. I will do the grocery shopping, or accompany you, whichever you prefer.
5. I will run any errands you require.
6. I will serve you sexually whenever you want in whatever way you want, without expecting anything for myself.
7. I will be available anytime to rub your feet or back, run you a bath.
8. I will not orgasm unless you allow it. I will wear a chastity device if you wish it.
What do I need from you?
1. I need you to love me and show me how to please you.
2. I need you to respect my voice but know that ultimately you decide and I will obey.
3. I need you to actively dominate and be in charge. This does not mean it can't be fun or sexy or done in a subtle way... Bottom line is what you say goes.
4. I need you to use humiliation as a way to remind me of my place and of your superiority. How you humiliate is your choice.
5. I need you to be clear about what you want in terms of household duties. A list would be helpful that you can check. I expect to live up to your standards. I ask only that you be fair in your demands.
6. Remind me of how lucky I am to serve you, how much you put up with to be with me.
I want you to understand your power and my need for you to use it. I do have limits but they are few and we can discuss them if you agree to take charge as I am asking.
There are other things I hope for but they are not needs. They are fantasies which we can discuss, or I can tell you about them, and you can choose how to use the information.
You might find this hard to believe, I don't know. I have lived too long a lie about who I am. You can free me to be my true self, which is your boy, your man, your toy, in love with the woman I worship and wish to serve. I hope this appeals to you.
I am anxiously awaiting your response, and will accept your answer, whatever it may be. I have a list of websites that can help you understand me better and what I am asking of you.
With love and sincerity,
[anonymous]
